Thursday, August 7, 2008

Once More I'm Just Being Me


Late yesterday I went to meet my GM.
Yes, I rejected a promotion.
WHY???
...sigh...
Yeah, i know people gonna think it's a crazy thing to do. I'm rejecting 'a promotion'.
True, sometime I had the same thought too. But then hey,
my reason is simple...'once more I'm being me'.
Sorry I can't explain in detail, it's complicated. But believe me I know myself better.
Somehow, somewhere, soon....I'll get what I want.

Hmm...
there's nothing much happen in my life today. It's more on a usual day.
It's almost 6.30pm now. I think am going off soon.
I dunno why, I felt my creativity level today is very low.
I noticed I can work better if I have my own corner. But not by having a couch where anyone can sit on it behind my work spot.
It's realllllly annoying ok! ;(
How I wish right now that I'll have a proper working space at my house. Where everything is reachable and pleasant to work. Too bad that I don't have enough space to fit in another table.
Seriously my house is in such a mess enough.
I really need a bigger house plss...

I dunno can I actually afford all this.
By judging where I am now I don't think so.
:-(

Hmm...
I think I'd better go off now.
Have to continue some other job later at home.
I hope I'll be inspired enough to do so.

See ya again blog!!!


p/s : Oya, this songs is kinda interesting..." I am me, Once More ". Thx Kokokaina for the beautiful song. U're a genius!!!

* cheers *






Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Growing Beautiful


While browsing around my photos collection I come across with
some interesting pictures of baby Amylea.
Those really makes me smile.

What a very pleasant memory to see her grow beautifully.
~ Miss her so much ~



:: I dedicate this cute song for her ::






Smile Through My Fears and Sorrow

My mind is so full of things to say these days.
However there are so many things as well that I dunno how to put it on words.
My heart and mind is all in blue.
Yet I dunno what is true.

It's nice to think so many wonderful things that has happened in my life.
Yet not so pleasant to think of those ugliest moment that I had gone through.
And hey, it makes me wonder how stupid can I be before or maybe even now of my actions. Or perhaps the way I think.

Owh well.
We grown up. To be called as so-called 'adult'.
Although I still feel that I am 10 years younger than my real age. Anyway, I can't hold fears no more. Shits happen. Although I don't want it to happen but if it meant to happen it will still happen.

So what else can I do ?

I'll just let it be

and

" smile through my fears and sorrow "



Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Someone You Used to Know

I'm home safe now.
Oh well, I didn't manage to talk to my sister. It's not that I didn't meet her. We did went for a simple dinner together however I felt like I'm not really in the mood to talk about it. Or perhaps about anything serious. My mind is tired ( i guess..).
Perhaps I should find somewhere over this weekend to sit down and talk over it.

Owh..my mind is all over the sky.
I dunno why, i dunno why. Everything flashes in my mind. Maybe I happened to listen to this song.
It called as "Someone You Used to Know". It's such a beautiful song. It touches my soul I must say.

Yes, someone you used to know.
Look back yes there's so many people that I've met in my life and still meeting from day to day.
Some stays but some is no where to find. Also some is already at heaven.
Well that is life.

I miss all of you my dear friends.

The lyrics for this beautiful song

It was helpless anyway
There's nothing much we could do or say
Darling don't you think it's a shame?
that it had to end this way

So here's to say goodbye,
our love is lost, and we cant figure why
maybe it really is about time
that we finally made up our minds

So Darling, here's to you
i hope that when you find someone new
that she would always be true to you
to love and understand you

Soon you'll build new memories
then slowly you'd forget about me
then i would slowly be
a distant memory

*Soon i'll just be
that someone you used to know
But darling you will thank me
for letting you go
time is not for wasting
i hope you'll find your intended
But i'm sorry
that your intended isn't me

it's not an easy thing
to shake off our history
i know that's what you want from me
but they will always stay with me

i admit i made mistakes
but darling with you it's just the same
if we stay there will be more to make
i dont know how much more we can take

Darling, it would be unfair
to stay with something no longer there
but it doesn't mean i no longer care
but i'd feel like a burden you can't bear


* Good nite *


I Love Her So Much

I noticed a sms 1st thing today when i wake up. Plus with a couple of missed calls from my sister and mom. The sms was from her, my one and only sister.
From her message she sounded so sad and lost. I went blank for a moment. Thinking what has exactly happened. A while later I called her. She answered. I asked where is she and she said at her fren's place, so I asked her to come over to my house. I know I wouldn't be able to meet her when she's here coz I have to go to work.

Before I left home I reminded my spouse to wait for her till she arrived before going anywhere.
All the way to work I've been thinking a lot what trouble had she causes again this time. I simply don't wanna asked mom about this matter right away.
It's better i put my full concentration on the road 1st.

After talking to mom just now over the phone, as i expected my sister had cause problems again and had turned mom and dad very upset. So she don't dare to go home.
Sighhh...
I seriously don't understand what she's been thinking all this while.
Didn't she realized tat she should be very thankful tat she's been getting everything in her life easily. She don't even have to go thru as much as hard time that me and my brother had gone thru.
Can't she see it at all?

The only thing I can see about her is she's a 'lost person' in her own world. She can't even make up her mind of what she really want in her life. Not even a real ambition, not even a vision.

Oh God..what has gone wrong with her?
Didn't she know that how much I love her. Didn't she realized how much everyone loves her.

My mind starts to flashback bit by bit of my passed.

Dear sister,
please help yourself out from misery. Bcoz no one can help you more if it doesn't come from yourself.



Right now she's sleeping peacefully at my home. At least I know she's safe there.
I shall talked to her once I'm back.

Friday, August 1, 2008

"Treat Her Like A Lady"

This is the best song I'm listening to today.

>> Treat Her Like A LADY <<

Thx JOE for the beautiful song
~xoxo~


My Teenage Song

Today while browsing around the net, I come across this song. It might sound so lame but I don't give a damn because it reminds me of my teenage years.
I still remember that I use to listen to this song alot, well you know a teenage girl with some crazy fairy tales about LOVE. Well, this is how I used to imagine how I might feel when once I have a bf or someone I love one day. Feeling thankful and soooo IN LOVE.

But hey!
I guess it's just a tale. "A FAIRY TALES or A CRAZY TEENAGE DREAM".
Because stupid me, THAT KINDA LOVE DOESN'T EXIST IN THE REAL WORLD!!!!

Anyway enjoy ~


LOVE.WORK.LIFE.DREAMS

It's been a while now that I didn't post anything here.
Life went pretty hectic these days.
Work, personal, love, family, relatives and business.
Trying to sort things one by one.
However, I have to admit it is pretty hard to go through everything on my own.
But that is the fact that I have to go through.


My dreams is huge ahead me.
I often cried alone, how much I have to go through all this by myself.
Should I just quit from my dreams..??!!

Sighh...